First Reformed (2017)

Paul Schrader’s First Reformed (2017) is one of the most talked-about films of the last decade, thanks to its haunting atmosphere, existential themes, and shocking ending. Ethan Hawke delivers one of his career-best performances as Reverend Ernst Toller, a pastor caught between despair, faith, and radicalism. Let’s dive into the film in full detail, including spoilers.

Detailed Summary

Introduction: A Pastor in Crisis

Reverend Ernst Toller (Ethan Hawke) is a middle-aged pastor at First Reformed, a small, historically significant church in upstate New York. Once a proud landmark, the church now functions more as a tourist site, overshadowed by the nearby Abundant Life Church, a wealthy megachurch. Toller is battling health issues, alcoholism, and profound spiritual despair, keeping a private journal in which he pours out his darkest thoughts.

The Meeting with Michael and Mary

A young parishioner, Mary (Amanda Seyfried), asks Toller to counsel her husband, Michael, an environmental activist consumed by despair about climate change and the future of the planet. Michael argues that it’s immoral to bring a child into a world on the brink of ecological collapse. Toller tries to provide comfort, but Michael’s conviction and hopelessness deeply affect him. Shortly after their meeting, Michael commits suicide, leaving behind an explosive vest meant for an act of eco-terrorism.

Toller’s Radicalization

Michael’s death becomes a turning point. Toller begins to share his sense of despair, believing the church—and humanity—has failed its moral responsibility to protect the Earth. He grows increasingly alienated from Abundant Life and its pastor, Joel Jeffers (Cedric the Entertainer), especially when Toller condemns the megachurch’s partnership with a wealthy industrialist responsible for environmental destruction. His health deteriorates, and his drinking intensifies, but his sense of moral urgency grows sharper.

The Dark Spiral

Toller’s inner conflict pushes him closer to the edge. He plans to wear Michael’s suicide vest during the church’s upcoming 250th-anniversary service, which is set to be attended by politicians, industrial leaders, and the press. Meanwhile, his growing closeness with Mary—who is now pregnant with Michael’s child—adds a layer of tenderness and vulnerability to his otherwise self-destructive path.

Movie Ending

The ending of First Reformed is deliberately ambiguous and has sparked countless interpretations. Here’s how it unfolds:

On the day of the anniversary service, Toller prepares to strap on the suicide vest, intending to detonate himself in front of the congregation and the corrupt figures he despises. However, when he notices Mary arriving, he hesitates—his plan would kill her and the innocent attendees. In a moment of violent self-punishment, he wraps barbed wire around his torso and prepares to drink Drano as an act of sacrifice.

Just as he is about to drink the poison, Mary suddenly appears in his parsonage. Instead of ending his life, Toller and Mary embrace and kiss passionately in the middle of the room. At that instant, the screen cuts to black.

Is this kiss real, or a dying hallucination in Toller’s final moments? Schrader never answers. Some interpret it as divine grace saving him at the last second; others see it as his fantasy before death. The ambiguity is the point—it mirrors the tension between despair and hope that runs throughout the film.

Are There Post-Credits Scenes?

No, First Reformed does not have a post-credits scene. Once the film cuts to black after the kiss, that’s the end. The abrupt conclusion is part of the film’s unsettling power.

Type of Movie

First Reformed is a psychological drama and existential thriller with elements of religious cinema and environmental allegory. It’s slow, meditative, and deeply philosophical, more interested in questions of faith, despair, and morality than in conventional plot twists.

Cast

• Ethan Hawke as Reverend Ernst Toller
• Amanda Seyfried as Mary Mensana
• Cedric Kyles (Cedric the Entertainer) as Reverend Joel Jeffers
• Philip Ettinger as Michael Mensana
• Victoria Hill as Esther
• Michael Gaston as Edward Balq

Film Music and Composer

The score was composed by Lustmord (Brian Williams), an industrial/dark ambient artist. The music is sparse, atmospheric, and unsettling, often leaving silence to dominate the film. This minimalist approach mirrors Toller’s isolation and spiritual emptiness.

Filming Locations

The film was primarily shot in New York State, including real historical churches that add authenticity to the setting. The stark, cold landscapes reinforce the film’s themes of isolation and existential dread.

Awards and Nominations

• Academy Award Nomination: Best Original Screenplay (Paul Schrader’s first-ever Oscar nomination).
• Critics’ Choice Awards: Nominated for Best Actor (Ethan Hawke).
• Gotham Independent Film Award: Won Best Actor (Ethan Hawke).
• The film also appeared on numerous critics’ “Best of 2018” lists.

Behind the Scenes Insights

• Paul Schrader admitted he was inspired by Robert Bresson’s Diary of a Country Priest and Ingmar Bergman’s Winter Light.
• Ethan Hawke kept a real handwritten journal in character as Toller, which he used as a performance tool.
• The film’s 4:3 aspect ratio was chosen to give a claustrophobic, austere feel.
• The barbed-wire sequence was one of the hardest to film due to Hawke’s physical discomfort.

Inspirations and References

• Bresson’s Diary of a Country Priest: A lonely priest writing a diary while battling illness and doubt.
• Bergman’s Winter Light: A clergyman losing faith amidst existential despair.
• Taxi Driver (1976): Schrader wrote the screenplay for Taxi Driver, and First Reformed mirrors Travis Bickle’s radicalization and descent into potential violence.
• Contemporary environmental concerns, especially climate change activism, directly influence the story.

Alternate Endings and Deleted Scenes

No official alternate endings have been released. Schrader has said the ending was always meant to be ambiguous. However, some drafts of the script were even bleaker, with less emphasis on Mary’s sudden appearance.

Book Adaptations and Differences

The film is not a direct book adaptation but borrows heavily from Bresson’s Diary of a Country Priest. Schrader translated the diary format into Toller’s handwritten journal, a central device in the film.

Memorable Scenes and Quotes

Key Scenes

• Toller’s conversation with Michael about climate despair.
• The “floating” sequence where Toller and Mary lie together and imagine flying through the world.
• The shocking barbed-wire self-punishment.
• The final black-out kiss.

Iconic Quotes

• “Will God forgive us?”
• “Wisdom is holding two contradictory truths in our mind simultaneously.”
• “Someone has to do something.”

Easter Eggs and Hidden Details

• The choice of the name Toller may reference Ernst Toller, a German playwright who explored political despair and eventually committed suicide.
• The sparse soundtrack often disappears entirely, leaving room for only environmental noise—an intentional nod to Bresson.
• The 4:3 frame subtly traps characters, making them look boxed in by faith and circumstance.

Trivia

• Paul Schrader once said he had sworn never to make a “priest movie,” but later changed his mind when the script “appeared” to him in a moment of clarity.
• Ethan Hawke improvised some of the journal entries to deepen his portrayal of Toller.
• The environmental themes were informed by Schrader’s own anxieties about climate change.

Why Watch?

Watch First Reformed if you want a film that challenges you instead of comforting you. It’s a slow-burn exploration of despair, radicalization, and the possibility of grace. It lingers long after the credits roll and sparks intense debate about faith, morality, and humanity’s future.

Director’s Other Movies

• Taxi Driver (1976) – writer
• American Gigolo (1980)
• Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985)
• Affliction (1997)
• The Card Counter (2021)
• Master Gardener (2022)

Recommended Films for Fans

• Diary of a Country Priest (1951)
• Winter Light (1963)
• Taxi Driver (1976)
• Silence (2016)
• The Card Counter (2021)
• A Ghost Story (2017)